Pinkie and the Seven Dwarves
by emiscracked
Summary: When the GCD is transported into magical fairy tale land, many crazy antics will ensue! Read at your own risk.


Many years ago, when the very seeds of Gaia were being planted, there lived a handsome king and his wife, the queen. They lived quietly and contently in a large castle on an uncharted isle. They had all the belongings they could ever wish for, except one thing. The couple wanted a child to love.

One cold winter morning, the queen decided to go outside by the frozen fountain to eat a raspberry jelly donut. While she was eating, a large globule of the jelly escaped its prison of high-carb donut and dropped to the ground.

"Oh, (CENSORED FOR TASTEFULNESS)!" exclaimed the queen. She stared down at where the jelly had fallen onto the winter snow. Suddenly she noticed how beautiful the red looked against the blinding white of the snowflakes. She smiled at the contrasting colors.

_How delightful it would be to have a child like that, _thought the queen. _A child with skin as white as snow and lips as red as raspberry jelly._

Many months later, the king and queen did, finally, have a baby girl. Much to the queen's happiness, their new daughter's skin was as white as snow and her lips were as red as Welch's Low-Fat Raspberry Jelly. The king and queen were finally happy. With their new daughter, whom they named Snow White and nicknamed "Pinkie" because of her abnormally large pinkie finger, they could not think of another thing they wanted.

A year later, however, the queen died.

After his wife's death, the king could do nothing but grieve. His servants did not know what to do with him. One day, however, they thought of something. With a stroke of brilliance, they brought the old king to Hooter's.

The king stared at fascination at the women there. The servants bought a backstage pass for the old man and introduced him to the workers. All thoughts of his old wife forgotten, the king picked out a new wife with the speed of an exchanger who has just seen a four thousand gold Halo. The two eloped and the new queen, "Bun Bun" Isilvara, quit her job to come to live with her husband. The king could smile again- especially at nighttime. Sometimes in the daytime, too.

It just so happens, however, that the retired Hooter's stripper was very cruel and selfish. She bossed around the servants like slaves. She reapplied her makeup at 2 and 7 o' clock. She even kept a magic compact makeup mirror. Every morning when she woke up to put on her makeup, the queen would ask,

_Mirror, mirror, in my hand, who is the sexiest in this land?_

And the mirror would reply,

_You are the sexiest in this land, my queen! _

And so the queen would be content that she was the sexiest.

It just so happened that Queen Isilvara paid nearly no attention to her stepdaughter, Pinkie. She did not notice how Pinkie became more and more beautiful every day. So, one morning- a morning that also just so happened to be Pinkies's fifteenth birthday- she received a rude awakening as she asked her magic mirror the magic question.

_Mirror, mirror, in my hand, who is the sexiest in this land?_

And, to the queen's utter dismay, the mirror replied,

_My queen, my queen, I am sorry to say, Pinkie is now the sexiest, all the way!_

The queen almost dropped her mirror. Her face twisted with rage, her stomach boiled and her heart turned green with envy. She looked outside the window and glared maliciously at her stepdaughter, who was reading the latest Harry Potter book on the castle steps.

"I will destroy you," exclaimed the queen, "if it's the last thing I do!"

For the next week, the Queen Isilvara did nothing but eat, sleep and work on a plan to kill her stepdaughter, Pinkie. She schemed night and day. One night, she finally came up with the perfect evil plan. She called for the woodcutter, Abso Shadows.

"I want you to take Snow White into the forest and chop off her head!" the queen ordered.

"Wh…What!" exclaimed Abso.

"JUST DO IT!" screamed Isilvara. The woodcutter ran off immediately to find Pinkie.

Abso did find her, sitting on the steps again and reading Harry Potter. "Pinkie, you need to come with me," he said.

"Do I HAVE to? This is the fifth to the last chapter I'm starting!"

"Wha—why, you sassy teenagers! Someone outta teach you a lesson! And yes, you have to come with me!"

Pinkie protested even more. Finally Abso grabbed the girl by the scruff of her neck and dragged her into the forest.

"Hey! HEY! This is my new Coco Chanel sweater! Let go of me, moron!" Pinkie yelled. Finally Abso and Pinkie reached a clearing.

"What is this? What are we doing?" Pinkie would not stop complaining. "What the heck am I doing here? Bring me back! I order you!"

Abso put his hand to his waistbelt. "Wha- Oh, (CENSORED FOR TASTEFULNESS)! I forgot my axe!"

Pinkie opened her eyes wide. "Axe? AXE! What are you going to do, chop my head off! You- you- you just want to get rid of me, huh? You can't STAND me, is that it! Well, WHATEVER! I hate you! Hate you, do you hear me! If you even come near me with an axe you don't want to know—"

Abso tried to block out the young princess so that he could think. _Where did I put it? I knew I had it when I left…damn! I bet Cheryl took it! My stupid wife! She's always complaining about how I shouldn't carry around my axe on my belt! Like it scares others! Yeah, right! I am seriously going to set her straight when I get home! _He stopped thinking and turned around. "Pinkie— Pinkie!"

Pinkie was gone.

-:START INTERMISSION:-

La la la! Help Peachie on her quest for Baby Seal Slippers! DONATE! 8D

-:END INTERMISSION:-

The young princess ran through the forest. Her brand new Converses were getting scratched all over, but she didn't care. She just wanted to get away from that creepy old woodcutter.

"I hate my life! Stupid, stupid! STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE I'M A LUNATIC!" Pinkie screamed at a random squirrel. The squirrel hid behind his tail and whimpered.

Suddenly the young girl came to another clearing. There was a sign in the middle of it. It showed an arrow pointing forward and the letters "GCD". Pinkie stared at the sign. She had never heard of this GCD in her life. For some reason, though, she felt like that was the right place to go. She followed the arrow.

A few minutes later, Pinkie reached yet another clearing. _What the heck is it with all these clearings? _she wondered. Still, this clearing was different. In the middle, there was a small hut. Not a deserted island hut, just a small wooden house with two windows on each side and small door.

Pinkie stared at the hut. There was another sign by it. It read "GCD" as well, except there was no arrow. Pinkie concluded that this was, indeed, the mysterious GCD.

Pinkie approached the house and found it was only inches above her height. She looked in the window. No one was there, so she went to the door. Surprisingly, it opened. The runaway princess looked inside curiously, all raving emo teenager personality forgotten.

Inside was a tiny kitchen with a sink and small portable refrigerator. Pinkie looked inside the refrigerator to find a couple of sodas and a hoagie. She took a soda but left the "nasty" hoagie.

The kitchen was attached to what Pinkie figured must be the living room. It, like the kitchen, was very, very small. The young girl found her head bumping on the ceiling as she entered the next room, which consisted of seven small beds.

Pinkie was tired from all that running. Her feet hurt. She took off her shoes and laid down on one of the beds. Her calves fell off the edge, but she didn't care. She just wanted to sleep.

Pinkie woke up suddenly. She had no idea how long she had slept, but seeing that nighttime had fallen through the window she figured it must have been pretty long. Suddenly the girl heard voices in the next room. Pinkie panicked when she realized they sound male. _WHAT IF THEY'RE CHILD MOLESTERS! _she thought frantically. In her fright, the girl fell off her bed and onto the floor. The fall made a very loud noise and the voices stopped.

Pinkie braced herself. She squeezed her butt. She unsqueezed her butt when she realized there was no reason to squeeze it. She put her face on the floor. She saw a bug walking under the bed. She screamed and jumped up. She hit her head of the ceiling and fell down again.

Suddenly, Pinkie saw man's face staring at her. She opened her eyes wide and backed up on the wall. "G- g- get away!" she exclaimed.

The man only stared at her some more. Pinkie saw another man behind him, and another. She sensed someone beside her. Suddenly someone started laughing, and soon, all the men were laughing. In her panic Pinkie managed to count six very, very short men laughing their heads off. Well, all of them were laughing except one, who was standing in the corner with a scowl on his face.

Pinkie felt her panic ease away a little, when she realized these men probably were not going to molest her. "Wh- wh- who are you people!"

The man Pinkie had first seen looking at her answered. "We are the seven dwarves of the GCD," he said. "My name is Kunai, by the way."

Pinkie opened her eyes even wider. "What!"

Another man, who had long, gray, silky hair, replied in a gruff tone. "What, you say. What! What! You haven't heard of us? Not even me, the fabulous Badlr!"

Pinkie stared. "N-no!"

One of the men sneezed violently. This one wore a heavy, ripped black scarf, and Pinkie was surprised he could move with so much clothing on. His wavy brown hair moved around a lot as he sneezed. Finally, after three sneezes, he said, "Well, I'm Vandal, who are you?"

Pinkie opened her mouth. "Me? I'm- er- I'm the- a princess!"

"A princess?" said another man. He was a very odd sight indeed, wearing a fake raccoon tail, frilly brown cape and paper bag with the smiley ":3" imprinted on the front. "My oh my! That's incredible! M-My name is Shady, Your Majesty!" Pinkie could almost feel heat radiating off of him. Was he blushing or something?

Another man began to speak, but had to pause for several moments due to a humongous yawn. This one had teal blue hair and wore a peculiar purple hat. He also wore a light blue scarf which wrapped around his body and seemed to float above his clothes. Finally the man spoke after his yawn. "I'm Seth, and if you're a princess, why are you here? Why aren't you at your castle?" he asked curiously.

"Well, I kind of…erm…" Pinkie stared at the seven men. Why should she tell them she ran away? She didn't know them. But they seemed very kind, except for that one that was still pouting in the corner. "I…well, I ran away. I guess." It was ominously silent for a moment, until a strange giggle broke the quietness. Pinkie looked over at the giggling man and stared. He hiccupped and smiled. Pinkie noticed an empty wine cooler in his hand. The man was also wearing large blue goggles.

"Hic- Ran away, huh? Heh- hic!" said the man.

The scowling one glared at the giggling man. "Oh, come on, don't tell me you drank another one! It's only two o' clock!"

"S-sorry-hic!" was the goggled man's response.

Suddenly there was a noise in the kitchen. Everyone looked up, and another man entered the room. Pinkie stared, mouth wide open. This man was wearing a gigantic hat, almost as big as himself, on his head. It looked almost Chinese, with two huge bull horns sticking out of each end. Besides his hat, the man was covered head to toe in many more extravagant items, most of which were either red, gold or black.

"Hey, guys! What's happening?" then he noticed Pinkie. "Ooh, who are you?" Pinkie noticed a humungous smile behind all his clothes.

"Er- my name's Pinkie," Pinkie said.

"Pinkie! That's a great name! My name is Bane, but you can call me Happy! Ha, ha, everyone does! I'm a girl, by the way."

"BANE! You're not supposed to tell people that! It's not right!"

"Aaaaaw, you're such a worrier, little Badlr."

Pinkie stared. She could feel some of her emo teenager feelings returning to her. This happy man was extremely annoying.

&&&

Back at the castle, Queen Isilvara waited impatiently for the woodcutter to return with her dead stepdaughter's head. She paced back and forth in her room, huffing and puffing. Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," said the queen.

It was the Abso. "Where is Snow White's head!" Isilvara demanded.

"Er- I don't exactly- have it." Abso replied.

The queen was infuriated. "WHAT! Did you kill her or not!"

"N-No."

Well, let's just say Abso Shadows was no more.

&&&

Things were changing in Pinkie's life. These things included:

1. Agreeing to, in exchange for food and shelter, do the housework of the GCD (this one took a while for Pinkie to agree to).

2. Not going back home (thankgodzzz).

3. Learning how to control feelings.

Yes, things were changing.

&&&

Queen Isilvara was angry. No, she was more than angry. She was infuriated. Her rage thrashed around in her stomach like a wild beast. She NEEDED to get rid of Pinkie. She had to. She NEEDED to be the sexiest.

So Queen Isilvara cooked up an evil, evil plan.

&&&

It was a fine Saturday morning, two weeks since Pinkie had agreed to live with the seven dwarves in the GCD. Every morning, all seven of them traveled off to post in the GCD forum, but Pinkie didn't mind. They were pretty annoying, especially that happy one. Anyway, she got to do the housework in peace. Well, relative peace, anyway.

Pinkie hated housework. Almost as much as she hated that creepy woodcutter and her life. She was still trying to learn to control her feelings with the help of Kunai, whom everyone called Doc, but it wasn't helping nearly enough. Pinkie still seethed with rage and went Emo much too often.

As she was sweeping the floors, Pinkie heard a knock at the door. The dwarves couldn't be back yet, could they? She went to the door and looked through the peephole. There was an elderly woman standing there. Pinkie stared. What was she doing here? Pinkie opened the door a single crack.

"Why, hello, dear! I found this interesting yellow circle object on the ground. Is it yours?"

Pinkie gasped. Right there, right in front of her, an old lady was offering her a HALO! Kunai had taught her about them. They were supposedly worth billions of gold!

"Well, dear? Is it yours?" asked the old woman a second time.

Pinkie stared, wide-eyed, at the Halo. She could barely talk. "N- Wh-" What could she say? "Y-yeah! It's mine!"

The old lady smiled. "Well, here you go, little one. Enjoy."

Pinkie took the Halo and closed the door. She stared at the golden circle. She couldn't believe her eyes. She had a Halo! Right away, she jammed it onto her head.

And right away, she fell to the ground.

A few yards away, the old lady ripped off her face, revealing a post-stripper face, twisted with the happiness of revenge.

"Aaaaah, the wonders of modern science."

The seven dwarves returned that night to find Pinkie lying, unconscious, on the ground.

Vandal ran over to her first, sneezing in panic. "Pinkie! PINKIE! What happened! Wake up!"

Pinkie groaned. All seven dwarves fell silent.

Pinkie opened her eyes and looked at the seven men. She opened her mouth. Seven breaths were held.

"wut/1! wer am i!1"

Fourteen eyes opened wide.

Pinkie sat up. "hei hoo r u guyz/ WERE AM I!111"

Suddenly, Shady noticed a golden, circular object under Pinkie's shadow. He picked it up. "Um…guys?"

Baldr gasped. "A HALO! A HALO! OHEMGEE! A-"

Kunai cut him off. "Baldr…" He took the Halo from Shady. "This is not a Halo."

"What!"

"It's not. Look at it. Feel it. It's plastic," replied Kunai calmly. He bent down to observe Pinkie, who was now exerting smiley rapes like her life depending. "And I'm afraid our little Pinkie has been infected with the N-Virus."

All seven dwarves gasped. "No!" yelled Seth.

"I'm afraid it is true," said Kunai, standing up. "Someone must have given her this fake Halo on purpose, to infect her. We cannot help her now. There is…" he paused. "no hope."

"There has to be something we can do! There has to be!" exclaimed Bane. His smile was gone.

"The only way Pinkie can be cured is with true love's first kiss," explained Kunai. "None of us are her true love. There is nothing we can do."

It was silent for a moment. Then Pinkie stood up.

"duedsz, im guna go k by!11" she said, heading towards the door.

"Let her go," said Kunai. "Let her…be happy."

And so Pinkie was gone.

&&&

Prince Spencer was a handsome young man. Many young girls swooned over him. But Spencer did not like those girls. Even though he made the cover of Gaia Teen every other month, he was not happy. He was far from happy, actually. He was miserable.

One day, when Spencer was lying on his bed, doing nothing, he felt like taking a trip. So he went down to the stall to get his horse and left without telling anybody.

He did not know where he wanted to go. He had no destination. So he just wandered throughout Gaia for a couple of hours, through Gambino Isle, Durem and finally Barton Town. He came to the forums, and wandered through there, watching thousands of teenage girls stare at him at the same time.

Spencer sighed. How he hated those girls. They thought he had everything, when really he had nothing. He rode on.

Suddenly he came across the Chatterbox. He had never actually been in the Chatterbox itself, just heard about it and horrors it held within. But the young prince felt like having a bit of an adventure, so he entered.

Almost immediately, the prince regretted his decision. In the Chatterbox was total chaos. People were in his face, screaming at him for gold, people were running around like lunatics, people were doing this and that and Spencer couldn't stand it. He was just about to leave when he heard a voice.

"heeey wuz ur name lol/"

The prince did not know why he stopped. All he knew is that he heard that voice, and he stopped. Something about that voice…He turned around saw a young girl, about his age, staring at him and asking him for his name repeatedly. Spencer knew that she was just another one of those annoying n00bs that everyone dreaded. But something about her was special. For one thing, she was very, very pretty. And even then, there was something…different. What on earth was it?

Spencer bent down, and, without knowing what in the world he was doing, kissed the raven-haired girl.

Their lips parted slowly and Spencer looked down at the girl again. She looked totally different now. How was she different? Spencer couldn't tell. The girl was staring at the ground now. Spencer began to have doubts now. _Oh, god! What did I just do! I just molested her!_

Suddenly the young girl looked up. "I'm sorry for asking for your name like that," she said.

Spencer looked at the girl. "What's _your _name?"

"Pinkie."

"Hi, Pinkie. Er- I'm sorry, I don't know what came over m-"

"Please, don't be sorry. Thank you, thank you so very much…Prince Spencer." Pinkie grinned.

Spencer stared at Pinkie. He was very confused.

"I am Princess Pinkie. My evil stepmother put a curse on me- I'm very, very sorry."

Spencer stared some more. Then he understood. He did have a 4.0 GPA, after all.

"Come on up here. Let's go get that stepmother of yours, shall we?"

Pinkie laughed and jumped up on the horse. "I love you."

And they lived happily ever after.

$$$$$&&&$$$&&&$$

Yes, yes, LAME ending, I so know XD Don't hate me ;.; I'm tired.


End file.
